


As Thorin lay dying

by A_song_for_the_last_day



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Battle of Five Armies, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Battle of Five Armies, Romance, Temporary Amnesia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-25
Updated: 2015-08-15
Packaged: 2018-04-11 04:54:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4422155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_song_for_the_last_day/pseuds/A_song_for_the_last_day
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>At the end of BOFA, Thorin lays dying on the abbandoned battlefield when Bilbo finds him. Disclaimer: May contain parts of the book/movie. Baggenshield.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The place where the arrow had pierced his body had hurt at first.

Later on, when he was lying between the bodies of elves, men and other dwarfs, the noises of the battle still within his hearing reach but distant , the pain had gone away.

In return his body had started to feel cold, first only in the area the arrow had pierced but the coldness had spread over his entire body, making him shiver.

Breathing had become difficult, every time he drew in a breath it felt like there was a heavy rock on his chest, blocking his airway.

The noise his breathing made didn't sound good either, breaths came in with a rasping noise and went back out rumbling.

Thorin was dying... and he knew it.

The rightful king of Erebor had fought for his kingdom and he had won, he and his companionship had stole it back out of the dragon's filthy paws, defended it against the orcs and the goblins and it had all been... well for nothing.

Most of the other dwarfs had been killed during the battle, including his younger nephews Kili and Fili.

Yes, he won Erebor back, but the odds that he would set another foot into his kingdom ever again where neglect.

Thorin didn't found this unfair, mostly because everything that happened was his fault, only his.

The dead dwarfs, his dead nephews, his fault. The men and elves that had been brutally killed by the orcs and goblins, all his fault.

And then there was the poor halfling, who with a bit of luck was back at the Shire, safe and sound.

But losing a really good friend by sending the hobbit home was all his fault.

The king had been greedy, now he was dealing with the consequences.

There had been one thing the king had desired the most, one thing he wanted to have no matter what the cost was and the hobbit had taken it, even worse, he had given it away.

When Thorin found out Bilbo was the one who gave the arcenstone away, he had been furious at the little halfling.

Though he had spared the hobbits life, he had banished him in blind rage.

He had banished one of his closest, most loyal friends. Someone who stood by him no matter what, gave him his friendship without questioning it and even more... Bilbo had loved him unconditionally.

And what had he given back? Only hurt and disappointment.

The hobbit had cried when he had send him away, he had begged for his forgiveness but in the end the hobbit had left, crawling underneath his hateful eyes.

Maybe it was for the best, Bilbo should be safe by that time, at least that was what the king hoped for.

Only it bothered Thorin that the halfling wasn't there, he needed the hobbit more then ever, wanting to apologize to him,wanting his forgiveness.  
How else could he die with a clean conscience of mind?

Thorin knew it was to late, Bilbo wasn't there, Bilbo was back at home and by the time he got the news about what happened, the king would be long dead.

He let out a deep sigh when his eyelids started to close without his permission.

His time was almost there, he could feel in it every fiber of his being.

' Thorin!' He heard a very familiar voice state.

He smiled, at least death wasn't as hard as he expected it to be, not when he could hear the voice of the one he so desperately wanted to be with at that moment.

Two little fingers pushed against his troth, probably trying to find a heartbeat.

With a lot of effort Thorin opened his eyes again, finding two brown ones peering at him from underneath a bush of brown fluffy hair.

' Bilbo?' He managed to get out, his voice dry and weak. ' What are you doing here? I thought you would be back at the Shire by now.'

The hobbit looked beaten, his face was covered with scratches and dirt, a trickle of blood coming from underneath his hair running down his face.

' I never left, you stupid dwarf.' The halfling replied while he knelt down next to him.

' You are wounded.' Thorin whispered, using a bit of his last power to wipe the trickle of blood away.

' It's just a scratch.' Bilbo said. ' It doesn't hurt, at least not as much as you've hurt me by banishing me.'

The king was startled when the little hobbit started crying, he wanted to comfort him but couldn't get his body to cooperate.

' Bilbo, I'm sorry.' Thorin whispered. ' I'm so sorry, for everything I did to you.'

' Hush, we can talk later.' The hobbit replied before he started screaming. ' I need a little help here, we've got ourselves a wounded king!'

Thorin grasped Bilbo's hand. ' There will be no later Bilbo, I'm dying.'

' No, you are not!' Bilbo replied fiercely, then caressed the king's cheek with his hand. ' If you dare to die on me right now, Thorin Oakenshield, I will bring you back from the death and kill you with my own bare hands.'

The king chuckled, leading him into a coughing fit.

' Bilbo... Baggins... are you... are you threatening me?' He managed to get out.

' I prefer to call it a fair warning.' The hobbit replied.

Thorin smiled by the halfling's answer. ' Just when did I wish for a stubborn hobbit?'

' Learned it from you, stubborn dwarf.'

At any other moment Thorin would have gotten mad by being called stubborn dwarf, this time however he wasn't offended by it.

' Are you cold?' Bilbo asked when the dwarf shivered.

' Freezing.'

By this Bilbo positioned himself behind Thorin, pulling the dwarf against him, wrapping his arms around the dwarf's chest.

' Better?' He asked softly.

' A little.'

Bilbo started to comb Thorin's long black hair with his fingers, making the dwarf growl out of enjoyment.

' Hold on, help will be here soon.' The hobbit whispered in his ear.

Thorin closed his eyes again, enjoying the hobbit's soft touch.

' Keep your eyes open Thorin.' Bilbo said. ' You can't sleep right now.'

The dwarf didn't react to this anymore, darkness was circling around him and the darkness was very attractive. Especially now he was laying in Bilbo's arms.

' Thorin!' Bilbo said again, this time his voice more powerful.

The dwarf didn't care about the hobbit raising his voice, he didn't want to talk anymore, he only wanted to sleep in the hobbit his arms.

Suddenly he felt two soft lips against his own, first only a brush then a little fiercer.

The hobbit had kissed him. Bilbo had really kissed him.

Thorin started to fight the darkness again, wanting to see the face of his beloved hobbit one more time.

This time however, he lost the fight.


	2. All of his memories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the kudos, bookmarks and reviews. :)  
> Enjoy the next chapter.

The hobbit wandered through the ruined halls of Erebor, big bags underneath his eyes from the lack of sleep he had endured the previous nights.

He stopped when he came to a big oaken door, hesitating a little before pushing it open.

Layers of dust laid on the room's furniture, it was clear no one had been in there in decades.

Other then that, the room was unharmed, nothing was broken or damaged.

Bilbo had shed so much tears the last couple of days he was surprised when new tears welled up in his eyes once again.

The big oaken bed with the red satin sheets, he could imagine Thorin sleeping in it.

Bilbo crawled up on the bed, positioning himself comfortably before he laid his head in his hands and started crying.

He missed that damn dwarf so much, sometimes it almost tore his heart out.

It had been a week since the battle, but Bilbo didn't feel any less lost then he had felt right after it.

Tears only started to flow harder when he thought about what had happened a few days ago.

* * *

_' Bilbo, Bilbo!' Ori had screamed from the field hospital when Bilbo came back from his daily walk._

_He needed that walk, it gave him the chance to stretch his legs for a while after sitting besides Thorin's bed, hour after hour._

_The hobbit had ran towards the screaming, clearly enthusiastic dwarf. His chest had filled with hope and joy before he had reached Ori._

_' What? What is it?' Bilbo had asked when he reached the dwarf._

_Ori's eyes had been full of happy sparks, a big grin had spread over the dwarf's face when he told him._

_' He's awake.'_

_Bilbo's eyes had filled with tears of joy when he heard the news, he barely had been able to remain calm._

_' Can I go see him?' The hobbit had asked enthusiastic, his heart racing in his chest by only the thought of seeing Thorin._

_' You can, Bilbo.' Ori had answered. ' There's only one small problem.'_

_' What problem?'_

_Thorin was awake, what problem could there possibly be which was more important then him._

_' He might still be a little disorientated.' The dwarf had answered. ' Has a little trouble with remembering things.'_

_Bilbo had shrugged and with that the dwarf had let him into the king's recovery room._

_' Thorin.' He had stated when he saw the dwarf sitting up in his bed._

_The kings face had still been covered with scratches and bruises from the battle, but only seeing him awake had made Bilbo's heart jump from joy._

_He had ran towards the dwarf, grasping him into a tight embrace before Thorin even had the chance to speak._

_When the king's entire body stiffened underneath his touch, Bilbo had pulled back._

_' I'm so glad you are awake.' Bilbo had said with a trembling voice._

_The dwarven king had looked at him weirdly and when Bilbo had looked into his blue eyes they had been empty, no sing of joy or enthusiasm by seeing him._

_' Who are you again?' Thorin had asked, it had come out in a whisper._

_The hobbit had taken a step back, hurt by the question the king had asked._

_How could it be that he didn't recognize his own burglar ?_

_' It's me, Bilbo.' The hobbit had answered. ' The burglar of your company.'_

_' My company?' Thorin had asked frowning. ' What are you talking about you little... what exactly are you?'_

_Bilbo had known Thorin wasn't doing this to hurt him, but he felt his heart shatter into a million pieces._

_' I'm ... I,m a... hobbit.' Bilbo managed to get out._

_His eyes had filled themselves with tears and he had a hard time holding them back._

_The dwarven king frowned. ' That doesn't ring any bells.'_

_Bilbo had stared at him for a few seconds, until he couldn't hold back his tears anymore._

_He had turned around and had ran out of the place as fast as his feet could carry him._

_' Hey, wait you little... hobbit!' The king had yelled after him._

_Bilbo got stopped by Ori, who still had been standing outside._

_' Bilbo, what's wrong?' The dwarf had asked when he saw the hobbit was crying._

_' A little disorientated you said?' The hobbit had replied furiously. ' He didn't recognize me, he didn't know what the company was, he didn't even know what I was!'_

_' His memory will come back Bilbo.' The dwarf had said ' Just give it a little time.'_

_Sure, because time heals all wounds, but if time would fix Thorin's memories? Bilbo wasn't sure._

_How was he going to tell the king about his nephews, who had fallen during the battle, if he didn't even know who they where._

_How was he going to tell him about the company, from which half the dwarves had died?_

_Bilbo didn't know, he really had no idea._

* * *

The hobbit had gone back to Thorin, telling the dwarven king stories about their adventure, trying to bring back his memory.

He even had showed the king pictures of his nephews, but he hadn't even blinked when he had told him what happened to them.

He had tried and he had tried again and still, nothing.

Bilbo wept the tears away with his hand before he jumped from the bed and left the king's room.

He put his hand in his pocket, grasping for the special jewel he had in there, one Bilbo had gotten back from the elves after the battle.

He wanted to give it to Thorin, he wanted to see if the jewel would ring any bells in the king's head.

And if it didn't, Bilbo thought all hope was lost.

The arcenstone was truly his last hope.


	3. Confession

' Name all fourteen members of your companionship, expect yourself.' The hobbit said, sitting next to Thorin's bed.

They where training his brain, trying to let the dwarven king remember certain events, trying to get his memories back.

' Bifur, Bofur, Ori, Dori, Nori, Kili, Fili, Dwalin, Balin, Oin, Gloin, Bombur , Gandalf and you, Bilbo.' Thorin answered. ' You are a hobbit, Gandalf is a wizard. My sisters name is Dis, my father was Thrain, my grandfather Trorh.'

' Good.' Bilbo said. ' You are doing good.'

' I only know these things because you told me, Bilbo!' The dwarf said annoyed. ' Other then that I can't remember anything.'

The hobbit sighed, at least he didn't lose his temper when he lost his memory.

The dwarven king had been up for several days, his body was healing well, but his memory just wouldn't come back.

' I want to see Erebor.' Thorin said as he caught the halflings gaze. ' Maybe seeing it would bring back my memories.'

Bilbo looked away, Erebor still was a ruin, the remaining dwarves had worked hard to repair it to the way it used to be , but they still had a long way to go.

' Maybe later.' He answered. ' You should rest more.'

The dwarven king mumbled something which Bilbo didn't intercept well, but it sounded a lot like ' That stupid hobbit doesn't let me do anything.'

' I have something for you.' Bilbo said in an attempt to cheer him up.

' What is it?' The dwarf asked.

Bilbo slowly picked something out of his pocket, then holding his breath, he showed it to Thorin.

The dwarf's blue eyes widened for a moment as he saw what Bilbo was holding.

' It's pretty.' He said, reaching out for the object. ' Where did you get it?'

' Do you know what it is?' Bilbo asked hopefully, closing his hand around the jewel again.

Thorin shook his head. ' What is it?'

' It's the arcenstone.' Bilbo sighed, clearly disappointed. ' The thing you desired most, you banished me for taking it.'

' I banished you for that?' Thorin asked softly. ' For such a tinny stone.'

Bilbo nodded, then laid the arcenstone in the dwarf's still outstretched hand. ' You can have it, it's yours.'

' I don't want it.'

' You do want it, trust me.' The hobbit said, then started to the door.

' Where are you going?' Thorin asked.

' I'm going for a walk.'

' Can I come?' He asked, already stepping out of the bed.

' No, you have to rest.' Bilbo replied before he disappeared trough the door.

The dwarven king sighed as he lay back down, the arcenstone still in his hand.

He looked at it with disgust, he didn't want it.

How could it be that he had banished the little hobbit for a thing like this?

Bilbo had told him what happened, how mad he had been and now, looking at the shinny jewel, he couldn't imagine getting so outraged by an object like this.

Thorin threw the arcenstone away, it wasn't helping him to remember so it wasn't of any use.

The thing he wanted most was to remember, he wanted to know what history he had.

And then there where these feelings whenever the hobbit was near, they scared him, especially since he didn't know where they came from.

He wondered what had happened between them before he lost his memory, but he didn't dare to ask the halfling.

And since the halfling wouldn't say anything about the subject himself, Thorin was reaching in the dark.

* * *

Thorin walked the halls of Erebor with the hobbit next to him.

He was glad the hobbit accompanied him with this, not only because he didn't want to face his kingdom alone but also because he liked it when the halfling was with him.

It gave him the feeling that he was worthy, that he was somebody and the most important thing, he felt like someone cared for him.

' So, this is my kingdom?' Thorin asked, looking around the mostly restored hall.

Bilbo nodded. ' Yes, but it isn't what it used to be. We are still working on it, only there aren't many dwarfs left to rebuild it, so it's taking us a while. I'm sorry.'

Thorin looked at the hobbit, who clearly wasn't feeling comfortable talking about the ruined kingdom and stopped dead in his track.

' Don't be sorry.' He said softly as he laid his hand on Bilbo's shoulder. ' You are doing all of this for me and I can't even remember how it used to be. I'm the one who needs to be sorry.'

The hobbit shook his head. ' You don't understand it, do you?'

' Understand what?'

' I'm having it rebuild, wanting you to see it how it used to be, because maybe something, if only the tinniest thing, could bring your memory back.' Bilbo said, getting frustrated with the dwarf. ' But you had to see Erebor now, you didn't want to wait, you wouldn't listen and now it isn't having any effect on your memory, is it?!'

Thorin looked at the little halfling besides him, he never had seen him angry before and he didn't want to see it ever again, especially not when he was the cause of his anger.

' No it isn't.' Thorin replied softly. ' But why are you so obsessed with me getting my memories back? Why can't you just like me the way I am now? Or is my personality so much different from before I lost my memory?'

Now it was the hobbit's turn to look at the dwarf and seeing his face filled with pain was a first for Bilbo too.

' No, it's not different at all.' Bilbo replied. ' But there are things you can't remember, things that matter. For me, at least, they mattered for me.'

' Then why don't you tell me?!' Thorin asked fiercely, getting frustrated with the hobbit. ' Why do you act like I have no business with those certain things when I have every right to know what happened between us!'

The halfling flinched under his loud voice, but Thorin didn't care, he was frustrated and he was tired of Bilbo pushing him away.

' Because even if I told you, those things wouldn't be real to you.' Bilbo said softly. ' They only would be things I told you about, but they wouldn't be real, they wouldn't be your memories.'

The dwarf sighed and for a moment it looked like he wasn't going to say anything, then he caught Bilbo's brown eyes with his blue ones and made his confession.

' Do you know what you make me feel whenever you are around me?' Thorin asked. ' Do you know how much I miss you when you are not around? How you spin my world around just by looking at me with those eyes full of love? And how much it hurts when I realize your gaze is only destined to the old me, the one with memories?'

Bilbo looked at the dwarf in pure disbelief. How could he know? How could Thorin know what he had felt for him before the battle? How could he know what he still felt for him now?

The only problem was, he wanted Thorin with memories, not the one without them.

And although he had tried to open up to the dwarf without memories, to love him the way he had loved Thorin before, it just didn't work, it didn't feel right.

Because every time he looked at the dwarven king he saw his Thorin, his one with whom he had fought battles and engaged adventures with.

And this Thorin, wasn't him.

' I'm sorry.' The hobbit said, tears troubling his view. ' But I'm going back to the Shire, I can't do this.'

' No! Why?!' Thorin growled.

' I'll be gone by the morning.' Bilbo said, the irritating tears now rolling down his cheeks. ' Please don't come looking for me.'

' Bilbo...' Thorin said, he was lost for words, didn't know what to do.

The hobbit quickly kissed Thorin on his cheek, then turned around and started for the staircase.

' No,... Bilbo wait!' Thorin yelled.

He didn't want his halfling to go, he wanted the halfling to love him, to cherish him, not to run away from him.

Bilbo was already descending the staircase, Thorin didn't know what to do, telling him to wait didn't help at all and he didn't know how to stop him.

But he wasn't planning on letting his one go, he had to fight for him, convince him that they would be OK, that his memory would come back eventually.

Thorin ran towards the staircase, planning on catching up with the hobbit, who was only a few steps away from taking the next staircase.

' Bilbo!' He yelled, running down the stairs. ' Bilbo wait!'

The dwarf got startled when he felt his feet slipping out from underneath him, he was going to fast and had no chance to recover his mistake.

Thorin fell down the stairs, hitting his head on the edge of a step, then rolled through the hallway a little further.

' Thorin!' Bilbo yelled, hurrying towards the fallen dwarf.

Thorin didn't answer and for a slight second Bilbo thought he had really lost him, that the dwarf was dead.

Then he saw him breathing and he sighed in relief, he was only unconscious.

Bilbo shook the dwarf's shoulder, but didn't get any reply, he was far gone.

He looked around, there was no one else in hallway to help him carry Thorin to his room, so he took Thorin by the arm and started pulling the dwarf himself, praying to Mahal that he would wake up soon.


	4. Thorin's dream

_Thorin was sitting on his throne in his kingdom, which was his and only his._

_The arcenstone, his white, most precious jewel was laid into the throne's head, shining it's overwhelming enchanting light around him._

_His hair was braided neatly, the clothes he was wearing where clean and fresh, he was looking the way a king was supposed to look._

_He looked up when the door of the room opened, his blue eyes immediately finding warm brown ones when his hobbit came in._

_Bilbo's brown hair had grown long, braids embellished with jewels had been made in his hair, which pleasured the king very much._

_The hobbit climbed up the steps that led to the throne, never looking away from the dwarven king, then sat down on the throne next to Thorin's._

_The halfling's throne was a little smaller then his own, but as the hobbit was seated in it, he looked just as royal as himself._

_' Bilbo.' He greeted his mate, a warm smile spreading over his face._

_' Good morning, Thorin.' The hobbit replied before he quickly kissed him on his cheek._

_The door opened again and a little girl with long black hair and hazel eyes came in._

_She had the hobbit's feet and ears, but her hair was obviously dwarf hair and with the speed she was growing she'd probably wouldn't stop at hobbit height._

_The girl was a perfect combination of him and Bilbo, if you asked him, she was the most beautiful girl in the whole wide world._

_' Daddy.' The girl said as she crawled on his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck._

_' Good morning my little princess.' He replied before softly kissing her head._

_The girl's eyes moved up to where the arcenstone was placed, her gaze full of wonder and curiosity._

_' Daddy, can I touch it?' She asked, already reaching out towards the white jewel._

_He took her little hand in his and led it away from the jewel. ' No, sweetheart. It's precious.'_

_This delivered him a disapproving look from Bilbo.' Let her play with it, she won't break it.'_

_He looked at Bilbo in disbelief, letting the girl play with the arcenstone? He didn't think so._

_' No, it's precious.' He said. ' She can't play with it, no one but me can touch it.'_

_His heart sunk when he saw the disappointment on the little girl's face, but it was only when he saw the disappointment in Bilbo's eyes he realized he was making the same mistake once again._

_' It will always be that stupid piece of jewellery for you, isn't it?' Bilbo asked. ' That arcenstone will always come first instead of your daughter and me.'_

_With this the little girl disappeared from his lap and when he looked to the throne next to his, Bilbo was gone too._

_He heard big gust of wind blowing around Erebor, like big wings where trying to blow it away._

_' Thorin Oakenshield, I see you still didn't learn your lesson.' He heard a hard voice state from outside._

_He jumped up when the walls around him collapsed, revealing Smaug, the dragon they had slain years ago._

_' You!' He snarled, quickly picking the arcenstone out of it's safe place. ' You are dead, you died many years ago!'_

_With this the dragon started laughing, it was a mean laugh and it made shivers run down his spine._

_' You foolish dwarf.' Smaug laughed. ' You can't kill me. I was wounded, I got my rest, I healed and now I'm coming to get what is mine.'_

_He tried to run, the arcenstone firmly held in his hand, that damned dragon wasn't going to get it a second time._

_Smaug breathed out a deadly ring of fire towards him, he could feel the heath of the flames on his body, he could smell his skin burning._

_As suddenly the dragon had appeared it disappeared again and now he was laying on the battlefield again, deadly wounded._

_He had a feeling of deja vu, like he had been there before, a long time ago._

_He smiled when he heard Bilbo's voice and his heart started racing when he saw the brown hair appearing above him._

_' Are you happy now, Thorin?' The hobbit asked. ' Your greed has brought you to a point where you care more about the gold and the jewels then about other people. You ruined the chance of us ever being together.'_

_' Am I dying?' He asked, fear washing over him._

_He didn't fear dead, he never had, but dying without letting the hobbit know how he felt about him, didn't sound like a good idea to him._

_Bilbo nodded. ' You are and to be honest, you brought this on yourself.'_

_' I need to tell you something.' He said quickly. ' It's important and you have to know before I die.'_

_' It's to late, Thorin Oakenshield.' The hobbit replied. ' To late for you.'_

_' Bilbo? Bilbo!' He screamed when the halfling disappeared._

* * *

' Bilbo!' He yelled, his eyes flying open.

For a moment Thorin was disorientated.

Until he looked around and saw the familiar things that had decorated his room in Erebor.

How did he get here? Wasn't he on the battlefield the last time he was awake?

Or was he dead and where these the great halls of Mahal?

He sighed when he saw brown curly hair in the corner of his eye.

What was Bilbo doing here? Was he dead too?

Not that he did mind the halfling being there, he didn't mind it at all.

He turned his head towards the hobbit, who was asleep in the chair next to his bed.

Could it be Bilbo had saved him? That he was still alive?

He would like some answers to that and in order to get some, he had to awaken the hobbit.

' Bilbo?' He asked softly, then shook the hobbit's shoulder.

The halfling's eyes fluttered open and Thorin smiled when brown eyes met his own blue ones.

' Thorin? You're awake?'


	5. remember

The dwarf's blue eyes locked with the halfling's brown ones and he felt a big wave of love washing over him just by looking at Bilbo.

Nevertheless the doubt was still there, just like the questions that kept swimming trough his mind.

Questions on which he desperately wanted an answer.

' Bilbo, am I dead? Are we dead?'

The just awakened hobbit frowned by his question. ' No, you are not.'

The dwarf sighed in relief, he had survived, he was alive and also was the hobbit.

' What about my nephews?' He asked, suddenly remembering Kili and Fili being with him in the battle. ' Have they been saved? Are they alive?'

Bilbo's face filled itself with wonder. ' They are dead, Thorin. I've told you that already.'

Bilbo got the surprise of his life when he looked into the dwarven king's eyes, they where filled with unshed tears.

Thorin himself didn't speak, he desperately was trying to hold back his tears.

He didn't want to look weak in front of the halfling, but the pain he felt in his heart because of the news about his nephews, made it pretty hard not to cry.

Bilbo's brown eyes grew wide when he realized what had happened, what he just had done. ' You remember them?'

Thorin slowly nodded. ' Them and their mother, who will probably lynch me.'

' Oh no, what have I done.' Bilbo stated. ' Your memory is back.'

The dwarf now looked at him with startled eyes and Bilbo couldn't control his feelings any longer, he crawled up on the bed and embraced the dwarf, holding on to him like his life depended on it.

He was so happy his Thorin was back, tears of joy started streaming down his face.

' Bilbo, what is it?' Thorin asked when he noticed the halfling was crying.

' I'm just so glad you are back.' Bilbo replied, a watery smile appearing on his face.

' Back from where?' Thorin asked, he had no clue what Bilbo was talking about. ' Last thing I remember is us being on the battlefield, saying our goodbyes.'

Bilbo sighed, now he wasn't remembering his amnesia, great.

' You have been awake earlier.' Bilbo said softly. ' Only your memory was gone.'

Thorin frowned ' Then how did I get it back?'

' You fell down the stairs.' Bilbo replied. ' And if I'd known a simple blow on the head would bring it back. I'd given you one myself.'

The king glared at him, which made Bilbo shiver.

' And why exactly did I fell down that stairs, master baggins?' He asked, his eyebrow slightly raised. ' Would you care to enlighten me on that?'

' Wouldn't it be better if you'd let all of this sink in for a while?' Bilbo replied, quickly taking a few steps towards the door. ' I mean, this is a lot for you to hear all at once.'

The hobbit didn't know how fast he had to get out of there, if Thorin remembered certain events...

' Bilbo...' Thorin growled, giving the halfling one of his stern gazes.

Bilbo quickly left the room, before Thorin could use his hard tone or his stern glare on him again.

Even if the king's eyes where filled with anger Bilbo found them beautiful and couldn't really resist them, Thorin knew that all to well.

He wasn't going to tell him what had happened, not now, it was to soon.

He was a scared little chicken, who didn't want to push the big bad wolf by telling him what he himself had told Bilbo.

No, he wasn't going to do that, if Thorin had feelings for him, he would figure it out himself.

And although Bilbo knew he wasn't going to get out underneath this one, at least for the moment he was safe.

* * *

Thorin was left in his room in astonishment.

He didn't know why Bilbo had chosen to run away and he wondered what the little hobbit was keeping from him.

Sure, he had been hard on the hobbit for a moment, but Bilbo always had been able to handle that.

Which made him wonder what was so different this time, what had happened when he didn't have his memory.

Thorin remembered how Bilbo had held him when he was dying, how his small soft lips had brushed his own, although he wasn't sure if the last part had been real or a dream.

Maybe it had something to do with that, maybe Bilbo was afraid he wouldn't react well.

He wanted Bilbo, he loved that silly, yet courageous hobbit and he wanted to know why he had ran away from him.

Thorin came out of his bed and started for the door.

That hobbit was going to give him some answers, he would take care of that.

Master Baggins wasn't going to get out of this one so easily.


	6. Breath

' So here you have been hiding, master Baggins.'

Bilbo turned on his heels, finding Thorin standing in the doorway.

A quick look around made clear there was no escaping, he was stuck.

' Oh no, you have no way to go, little one.' The dwarf chuckled as he came in, closing the door behind him.

Bilbo, who was scared to death now he was alone in a room with Thorin, stood with his back against the wall.

He shivered when the dwarven king pierced his blue eyes on him, slowly coming towards him.

' You can run, but you can't hide, Bilbo.' Thorin said when he was right in front of the halfling.

Bilbo tried to slip past the dwarf, if he succeeded he would have a shot to get at the door.

Thorin prevented his escape, he pinned the little hobbit against the wall, keeping him there by leaning over him, only his hand touching the wall.

Bilbo felt intimidated by the dwarf, he felt so tiny now the dwarf leaned over him, so tall and so confident as he was.

' What are you keeping from me, Bilbo?' Thorin asked as he caught the halfling's gaze.

Bilbo felt his cheeks flush red, his heart started to beat like crazy and he couldn't breath.  
He felt like fainting now Thorin was so close to him.

' Not... Nothing.' Bilbo stuttered. ' I swear.'

Thorin slightly raised his eyebrow, what made Bilbo's heart beat even faster.

' Don't lie to me, master Baggins.' The dwarven king said, his voice soft. ' I do not appreciate liars.'

Bilbo swallowed loudly. ' Thorin, please. I can't breath when you are this close to me.'

The halfling was on the edge of bursting out into tears and as Thorin noticed it, he took a step back from him.

' Calm down, Bilbo.' He said, giving the hobbit a little smile. ' I'm not mad at you, I'm not going to harm you. I only want to know what you are not telling me.'

' I know you would never harm me.' Bilbo replied, trying to catch his breath.

Now the dwarf was a few steps away from him and Bilbo himself wasn't distracted by Thorin's lips anymore, he started to think straight again.

' Bilbo..., I'm waiting.' Thorin said, hoping to get an answer.

' Fine then.' Bilbo sighed. ' I'll tell you.'

The halfling sat down in one of the chairs, Thorin following his lead.

' I wanted to leave, I wanted to go back to the Shire.' Bilbo started, trying to keep his voice from breaking. ' Things where said, but when I actually left, you came after me and you tripped on the staircase, which made you fall and hit your head, leading to unconsciousness.'

Thorin frowned. ' What things where said?'

' Please don't make me repeat them.' Bilbo whispered. ' Please don't do that to me.'

' Come here.' Thorin sighed, realizing the hobbit wasn't comfortable with his questions.

' Why?' He squeaked, his eyes growing wide out of fear.

' Get over here, Bilbo!'

The halfling almost jumped out of his chair, then slowly walked to Thorin, who picked him up and established him on his lap.

Bilbo looked at him in wonder, what was he doing?

' Tell me, Bilbo.' The dwarven king whispered. ' I need to know.'

' You told me how you felt about me.' Bilbo blurted out. ' At least, the you without memories did.'

He stared at Thorin, not knowing what to expect from him now he had told him.

The dwarven king slowly nodded. ' I can believe that.'

' And I ran away, I only wanted the you with memories.' Bilbo continued, burying his face in Thorin's chest. ' Because those shared memories matter to me.'

Bilbo looked up when Thorin didn't immediately answer, his breath stocked in his troth when he saw the dwarf's face.

' Thorin?' He managed to get out.

The dwarf smiled. ' Breath, Bilbo. Breath.'

Bilbo sighed in relief when he saw the love in Thorin's eyes, he did care for him.

' I need to tell you something.' Thorin said, his face slightly worried. ' And I don't know how you are going to react on it.'

' Go on.' Bilbo said, wondering what could be worse then what he just had to do.

' When I got my memories back.' Thorin started. ' I remembered something what happened in what I thought where my last seconds on earth. I only don't know if it was real or if it was a dream.'

The hobbit's entire face flashed fire red when he realized where Thorin was going.

' About,.. About that,... I wasn't... thinking,...'

Before another word could come out of his mouth, Thorin's lips captured his.

Surprised by this sudden gesture of love, Bilbo let out a small shriek, which made Thorin pull back.

' You don't want this?' He asked disappointed when he saw the halflings confused face. ' I'm sorry, I thought...'

' No,... no,... I do, I only..., wasn't... I wasn't,... expecting this.' Bilbo stuttered, his heart racing in his chest. ' For the love of Mahal, Thorin. Don't you see what you are doing with me!'

' Tell me, what am I doing to you?' The dwarf asked, a little smile around the corner of his lips.

' You are driving me crazy. Whenever you are around my heart is beating like crazy.'Bilbo blurted out. ' If you touch me, even by accident, my mind goes blank and when you are this close to me I'm just not able to breath.'

' You have the same effect on me, little one.' Thorin replied, his cheeks flushing red with this confession. ' It's like you are a drug and I am the addict. I should stay away from you but I can't.'

' We both should go into rehab.' Bilbo whispered softly.

' Or we just loose ourselves in our addiction.' Thorin growled, his voice hoarse.

The dwarf's blue eyes locked with the halfling's brown ones and for a moment they kept staring at each other, both faces filled with desire for the other.

Bilbo let out a little moan of pleasure when Thorin gently kissed him again, the dwarf's beard pleasantly tickling his face.

Thorin brushed Bilbo's hair with his fingers, cupping the hobbit's face with his other hand.

He let out a little growl when the halfling bit his lip, making him open his mouth a little to let his lover's tongue explore.

He felt like his entire being was on fire and yet it didn't hurt, it was overwhelming actually, the amount of love he felt for such a tiny being.

Bilbo felt the same, passion burning in every fiber of his being, they could steal his house and he wouldn't care, because only now he had found his home, with Thorin.

Both where breathing heavy when they pulled back, their heads still against each other.

' I am so not going into rehab.' Bilbo stated.

And with that his lips attacked Thorin's once more.


End file.
